I loved reading the Sunday New York Time’s article about Susan Boyle, titled, “Yes, Looks Do Matter.” If you haven’t been following the story, do yourself a favor and click on to this link for Your Tube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

Susan is best remembered for astounding the judges on “Britain’s Got Talent” TV show. Frumpy in her appearance, the video shows how the judges began making negative assumptions turning them off to her before she even opened her mouth. Once sound came out, their shock and amazement grew and the stereotypes that they had conjured up began to get dismantled.

What a fine display of how quickly one gets unfairly “sized” up and categorized before being given a chance to “show your stuff.” We in America are such a lookist culture, but, as we can see it’s not just a problem here. If you look at the video, it’s crystal clear that the UK is steeped in stereotyping people based on a narrow definition of acceptable appearance. No wonder we have so many women worrying about how they appear and what they wear. No wonder we spend so much money on clothes, haircuts, and makeup. Susan Boyle both confirms for us that we have reason to be paranoid, but she also gives us reason for hope – after all, she did knock the socks off of the judges and her video has been show world wide. I hope that she can be a reminder to us all to slow down and notice how quickly we categorize and judge…and then resist our tendencies. Instead, let’s try opening our minds and considering that smart and talented comes in all shapes and sizes.

See my latest blog posting on the Huffington Post 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jane-shure/the-im-right-youre-wrong_b_186370.html

I was recently out on a hike with a friend on a glorious day as the weather transitioned from winter to spring in the northeast. My friend is a middle-aged woman who has always felt loving and positive toward her body regardless of weight fluctuations and health stresses. She began telling me about her recent experience with body-shame triggered by a visit to the mall.

“Imagine my surprise – when I went from a business meeting where I felt attractive and confident into the doors of Bloomingdales, only to discover myself mired in self-criticism. There I was dressed in winter clothes, just like all the other women in the store. It wasn’t that I was comparing myself to other, real people, it was the clothing on the mannequins. The new fashion, fresh with bright spring colors, somehow called out to me suggesting that if I wasn’t wearing them I was ‘frumpy’ and ‘old looking’. The longer I looked at clothes, the more my mood shifted in a radical way – and it wasn’t for the positive. I quickly took myself out of the store and once home, talked myself down. It made me really concerned for those people who aren’t so able to talk themselves down. If I, someone who generally feels good about her body and appearance, could get pulled down so powerfully, what does that mean for those who hold a whole lot more negative regard in their body-image?”

We went on to talk about how these harsh economic times further challenge us. While the stores and advertisers cleverly determine how to motivate us to spend our precious dollars, we consumers become more hooked on wanting what we can’t afford. We get sold on the idea that we are better off if we have new things and worse off if we don’t. The false promise of being elevated to a new level of self-confidence can put us at risk of using credit cards, only to increase our anxiety when the bill arrives.

I wonder what would happen if we gave ourselves a high five for every time we resist spending money on items we don’t really need. How might we be freed up if we celebrated wearing our clothes season after season, with pride. The retailers would surely not be happy (and we know that they are suffering in today’s market) but would we be a bit more content? Would we possibly have less feeling of depravation and more feeling of self-acceptance? I just wonder.