I was recently out on a hike with a friend on a glorious day as the weather transitioned from winter to spring in the northeast. My friend is a middle-aged woman who has always felt loving and positive toward her body regardless of weight fluctuations and health stresses. She began telling me about her recent experience with body-shame triggered by a visit to the mall.

“Imagine my surprise – when I went from a business meeting where I felt attractive and confident into the doors of Bloomingdales, only to discover myself mired in self-criticism. There I was dressed in winter clothes, just like all the other women in the store. It wasn’t that I was comparing myself to other, real people, it was the clothing on the mannequins. The new fashion, fresh with bright spring colors, somehow called out to me suggesting that if I wasn’t wearing them I was ‘frumpy’ and ‘old looking’. The longer I looked at clothes, the more my mood shifted in a radical way – and it wasn’t for the positive. I quickly took myself out of the store and once home, talked myself down. It made me really concerned for those people who aren’t so able to talk themselves down. If I, someone who generally feels good about her body and appearance, could get pulled down so powerfully, what does that mean for those who hold a whole lot more negative regard in their body-image?”

We went on to talk about how these harsh economic times further challenge us. While the stores and advertisers cleverly determine how to motivate us to spend our precious dollars, we consumers become more hooked on wanting what we can’t afford. We get sold on the idea that we are better off if we have new things and worse off if we don’t. The false promise of being elevated to a new level of self-confidence can put us at risk of using credit cards, only to increase our anxiety when the bill arrives.

I wonder what would happen if we gave ourselves a high five for every time we resist spending money on items we don’t really need. How might we be freed up if we celebrated wearing our clothes season after season, with pride. The retailers would surely not be happy (and we know that they are suffering in today’s market) but would we be a bit more content? Would we possibly have less feeling of depravation and more feeling of self-acceptance? I just wonder.

This entry was posted on Monday, April 6th, 2009 at 7:40 pm and is filed under Emotional Health. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.