http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jane-shure/american-liberty-gratitud_b_612157.html

I remember that time in my life when I was just starting to develop a political consciousness. It was 1975. I was living in Europe for a college semester abroad. Meeting up with people from all walks of the world inspired me to broaden my understanding of how national powerbrokers influence public opinion.

Recently I traveled to Argentina, a country that experienced horrific war acts against its people during the years of 1976-1983. The  30,000 who perished are known as the “Desaparecidos” - in English it’s the “disappeared”- named that way because rather than coming under open gunfire, the Argentine military junta abducted people while going about their daily routines, leaving their families and loved ones never to see them again or know of their fate.

Astounding for me to think about how those years in Argentina contrast with what was going on in my life here in the US. Those were the years when I graduated college, went to Grad school, and initiated my career as a psychotherapist. Those days were filled with discovery about sexism and racism, learning about empowerment of self and others, and finding my way as a feminist and wife.

My final day in Buenos Aires, I shared café with fellow psychologists. Relying on their English language skills, they answered all my questions, clarified my confusion and set the historical records straight. Then one of them looked me deeply in the eyes and said “In 1975 I was twenty-one and was arrested at a demonstration.” Coming of age in the 60s and 70s, I knew from demonstrations.

I listened on as he told me “I was imprisoned for four years.” Shock overwhelmed me - he was committed for the crime of peaceful protest. There I was sitting face to face with someone who embodied the cruelty and senselessness of a military junta - of people who get off on using their supreme power to strip away other’s basic rights and dignity.

I was aghast and without even thinking about it I was also immediately filled with gratitude - gratitude for how fortunate I’ve been; how lucky I’ve been to have the luxury of taking so much for granted. All I could focus on was  how much I treasure feeling safe enough to have an open conversation without fear of being turned in and punished, having access to universities and other think tanks that remain active despite shifting political tides, and being fortunate that our economic system didn’t bottom out anywhere close to where Argentina’s did in 2001 (when the pesos went from being worth the equivalent of a dollar to a quarter,  just overnight).

I am blessed to live with the protections our system affords. It’s so easy to criticize people and parties and, believe me, I do it as much as the next person does. But in these days, upon returning home, I continue to be mindful of how precious freedom is and how important it is to appreciate it when you have it. I am more appreciative than ever before.

Recently I heard someone tell the following story and I really liked it. Then it came across my email today, so I share it with you…

A middle-aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym…

Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans). They have an active sex life, get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia,the Bering Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia…

If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They don’t have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them, not to mention how could they have sex? Just look at them..where is IT? Therefore, they don’t have kids either. Not to mention, who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?

P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver, and a piece of chocolate with my friends. With time, we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jane-shure/spanx-shaping-anxiety-for_b_595596.html

Leave it to the fashion industry to find new and improved ways for instilling fear in consumers. As if it weren’t bad enough that women were hooked on products that “enhance,” “flattern,” and “camouflage” our natural features, now we have men at center stage being sold a new category of clothing - “men’s shapewear.”

Reporting in the New York Times, Catherine Saint Louis tells us that in February, the Spanx line of modern girdle-like garments introduced its first line for men. Major department stores now carry them and they are expected to fly out of the stores like hot potatoes. Spanx will, of course, sell men on the idea that their products will help them “feel better” about themselves and do so at bargain prices since their clothing is priced well under the cost of the initial compression T-shirt designs of Australian based Equimen.

These “profile enhancement” undergarments are the female equivalent to a push up bra and girdle. Men now get to experience some of the worst that our modern day culture has to offer us in the way of self-empowerment. They, too, will get sucked in to believing that they’ll feel more attractive and hold greater confidence when wearing these apparel. Anxiety about men’s natural features (in particular their bellies) will grow exponentially. Ah, the insecurity and self-consciousness that ensues is sure to do wonders for intimacy and authenticity in relationships.

No doubt that men are capable of being convinced that these products will help relieve their back pain and support their muscles. That line was used on women for years and it successfully hooked many into wearing all sorts of uncomfortable undergarments.

My mother was one of them. A tall, beautiful woman, I remember her daily use of a girdle. She believed it helped her “aching back,” but years later dealing with my own aching back, I know otherwise. Strengthening your abs helps an aching back; strengthening core muscles helps an aching back. Not lycra or any other synthetic fabric.

I hope that boys and men have their eyes wide open and are cautious of stepping into a potential trap. Women need also be alert since many women buy clothing for sons or husbands. Be aware of the slippery slope in which one begins to “feel great” in their new look, followed by a growing sense of self-doubt and worry about appearing flabby. Then comes the natural body sensations that remind you of the ways your body is not firm, activating you to compare your body image to that of the ultra-firm one you have when wearing spanx.

Suddenly the “F” word creeps into your vocabulary far more often - that’s F for FAT - and with time, a cycle of body angst sets in. Beware - beware of the fashion and diet industries who have so much to gain while we have so much to lose.