http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/02/28/go-easy-on-yourself-a-new-wave-of-research-urges/?emc=eta1

New York Times health writer, Tara Parker-Pope wrote a great article this past week. READ IT - it makes a whole lot of sense…. “A burgeoning new area of psychological research called self-compassion - how kindly people view themselves. People who find it easy to be supportive and understanding to others, it turns out, often score surprisingly low on self-compassion tests, berating themselves for perceived failures like being overweight or not exercising.

The research suggests that giving ourselves a break and accepting our imperfections may be the first step toward better health. People who score high on tests of self-compassion have less depression and anxiety, and tend to be happier and more optimistic. Preliminary data suggest that self-compassion can even influence how much we eat and may help some people lose weight.

This idea does seem at odds with the advice dispensed by many doctors and self-help books, which suggest that willpower and self-discipline are the keys to better health. But Kristin Neff, a pioneer in the field, says self-compassion is not to be confused with self-indulgence or lower standards.

“I found in my research that the biggest reason people aren’t more self-compassionate is that they are afraid they’ll become self-indulgent,” said Dr. Neff, an associate professor of human development at the University of Texas at Austin. “They believe self-criticism is what keeps them in line. Most people have gotten it wrong because our culture says being hard on yourself is the way to be.”

Imagine your reaction to a child struggling in school or eating too much junk food. Many parents would offer support, like tutoring or making an effort to find healthful foods the child will enjoy. But when adults find themselves in a similar situation - struggling at work, or overeating and gaining weight - many fall into a cycle of self-criticism and negativity. That leaves them feeling even less motivated to change.

“Self-compassion is really conducive to motivation,” Dr. Neff said. “The reason you don’t let your children eat five big tubs of ice cream is because you care about them. With self-compassion, if you care about yourself, you do what’s healthy for you rather than what’s harmful to you.”

Dr. Neff, whose book, “Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind,” is being published next month by William Morrow, has developed a self-compassion scale: 26 statements meant to determine how often people are kind to themselves, and whether they recognize that ups and downs are simply part of life.

A positive response to the statement “I’m disapproving and judgmental about my own flaws and inadequacies,” for example, suggests lack of self-compassion. “When I feel inadequate in some way, I try to remind myself that feelings of inadequacy are shared by most people” suggests the opposite.

For those low on the scale, Dr. Neff suggests a set of exercises - like writing yourself a letter of support, just as you might to a friend you are concerned about. Listing your best and worst traits, reminding yourself that nobody is perfect and thinking of steps you might take to help you feel better about yourself are also recommended.

Other exercises include meditation and “compassion breaks,” which involve repeating mantras like “I’m going to be kind to myself in this moment.”

If this all sounds a bit too warm and fuzzy, like the Al Franken character Stuart Smalley (”I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me”), there is science to back it up. A 2007 study by researchers at Wake Forest University suggested that even a minor self-compassion intervention could influence eating habits. As part of the study, 84 female college students were asked to take part in what they thought was a food-tasting experiment. At the beginning of the study, the women were asked to eat doughnuts.

One group, however, was given a lesson in self-compassion with the food. “I hope you won’t be hard on yourself,” the instructor said. “Everyone in the study eats this stuff, so I don’t think there’s any reason to feel real bad about it.”

Later the women were asked to taste-test candies from large bowls. The researchers found that women who were regular dieters or had guilt feelings about forbidden foods ate less after hearing the instructor’s reassurance. Those not given that message ate more.

The hypothesis is that the women who felt bad about the doughnuts ended up engaging in “emotional” eating. The women who gave themselves permission to enjoy the sweets didn’t overeat.

“Self-compassion is the missing ingredient in every diet and weight-loss plan,” said Jean Fain, a psychotherapist and teaching associate at Harvard Medical School who wrote the new book “The Self-Compassion Diet” (Sounds True publishing). “Most plans revolve around self-discipline, deprivation and neglect.”

Dr. Neff says that the field is still new and that she is just starting a controlled study to determine whether teaching self-compassion actually leads to lower stress, depression and anxiety and more happiness and life satisfaction.

“The problem is that it’s hard to unlearn habits of a lifetime,” she said. “People have to actively and consciously develop the habit of self-compassion.”

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jane-shure/advancing-eating-disorder_b_827071.html

These days most people know someone in their family or community who has been impacted by an eating disorder. In the United States alone, as many as 10 million females and 1 million males are fighting a life and death battle with anorexia or bulimia. Approximately 15 million more are struggling with binge eating disorder.

Research shows that genetic factors create vulnerabilities for some individuals, placing them at risk for responding to cultural pressures and triggering behaviors such as dieting and obsessive exercise. Every eating disorder signifies a host of psychological and medical problems that can be exceptionally costly, not only economically, but also in terms of physical, emotional, spiritual and social suffering.

This week marks National Eating Disorders Awareness Week, a time to promote public and media attention to the seriousness of these disorders. It’s time to advance the public health agenda of eating disorder prevention so that we can reduce the incidence of these deadly diseases and restore quality of life to the people of America and beyond.

The diet industry markets their fads, promotes the notion of good foods and bad foods, terrorizes us with fears of becoming “fat,” and hooks us on disregarding our hunger cues and body signals. To make matters worse, the fashion industry sells lies as it promises us to feel better if we fit in to our “skinny” jeans, and the advertisers bombard us with subliminal messages instilling us with a sense of inadequacy.

It’s all getting worse as these industries get fat off causing the public a whole lot of suffering. On April 15, A Chance to Heal will host a groundbreaking national symposium in Philadelphia, bringing together researchers, policymakers, and educators in the field of eating disorder prevention to advance the public health agenda of eating disorders prevention. Prevention experts will help attendees focus on policy, advocacy & legislation, research & evaluation, health & social services, and education & training. There are certain to be many questions raised as well as suggestions for next steps toward making prevention of these disorders a concern of the past.

Imagine how much healthier we’d all be if public health efforts helped us learn how to tune in to our bodies hunger signals and feed ourselves with foods that satisfy; Imagine if these same efforts helped promote marketing campaigns that focused us on how to maintain a healthy weight rather that how to lose weight; Imagine if the outcome of these public health efforts transformed the culture of deprivation that leads to craving to become a culture that encourages positive body image, with health at many sizes.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jane-shure/natalie-portmans-black-sw_b_807152.html

In the film Black Swan, Natalie Portman gives a stunning portrayal of an emerging female battling the developmental forces of innocence and rebellion. Portman’s character, a ballerina in the New York City Ballet, demonstrates not just the pressures to be a ballerina, but how the pulls to act restrictive and indulgent permeate self development, especially during the tender years of young adulthood.

At its heart, Black Swan is a psychological story about a daughter imprisoned by the defense mechanisms used to cope with her mother’s narcissism. Faced with a mother who invaded her personal space and dominated her emotional life, Portman’s character, Nina, turns to “being the best,” as a means of surviving. In Nina’s case “the best” is symbolized by her star role in the ballet.

Having grown up with a mother who never allowed her the safety of speaking her mind, Nina demonstrates what happens when one is robbed of a sense of self-worth. She, like others who feel the need to defer to their mother’s (or father’s) dictates, adapted to a core belief suggesting “what I feel or think doesn’t matter; what’s important is what will please my mother.” In seeking out ways to give one’s parent what they emotionally demand, a daughter (it could also be the same for a son) acts instinctively to calm her mother down and reduce the level of conflict, thus alleviating her own anxiety. Over time, angst and worry grow, as does a pervasive sense that “I’ll never be good-enough.”

Seeking perfectionism is a common path for daughters in these complicated family situations. In the short-term, adoration from others may, in fact, offer relief from the emptiness felt within. It may also allow for a sense of living as though “all is fine,” when in fact it isn’t. But much as Black Swan shows, perfectionism as a route to the promised land, doesn’t work for the long-term. Eventually it leads to a darkness and recklessness within, that may threaten to destroy relationships, the body and, ultimately, one’s life.

As we begin this new year, let’s take a lesson from this psychological thriller. Become mindful of those ways that perfectionism flirts with you and say no to its seductive nature. Recognize how you adapted to childhood circumstances and support your courage for learning new ways to cope. Be aware of and challenge the cultural messages that harm you in order to embrace the ones that heal and sustain.

For more, click on http://janeshure.com/blog